Why yes, internet, it has been a while since we last posted! We've all agreed that blogging is boring, but we've decided to dust off the old site for a very special occasion:
The birth of Moondagger!
This Friday, at the Crofoot, Deastro's Moondagger will be released from Ghostly International.
We're sure the album will take the United Country of States that is America by storm: Deastro is a talented band and a talented man, and we're as proud of him as anybody out there.
Well, maybe everybody except two guys who have been talking (and talking and writing and doing other things) about Deastro for some time.
You guessed it, it's our favorite paper-bagged and crazy-bearded (respectively) bloggers, Jasper and JRC, that we're speakin' 'bout here.
These guys' unending love for Deastro started way back in 2007, when they weren't publicly domestic partners but lived at separate residences at webvomit.com and fivethreedialtone.com.
Yep, it was way back in 2007 that the slightly unheterosexual love affair between Jasper, JRC, and Deastro began.
Just because we Sharx of the Lazered glory have been away for awhile doesn't mean we haven't been keeping up on the blogs of Detroit. We've just been doing our research. Here are the results.
Jasper, from July 1, 2007:
Myspace has officially proven its worth to me this weekend when I stumbled upon this profile by mistake: Deastro. Five tracks are better than whatever you listened to this weekend.
A humble beginning. A chance encounter. The first flicker of love. It's the stuff of magic.
Jasper, from July 27, 2007:
I’ve described Deastro before as Postal Service meets M83 (meets Mega Man) but honestly, that doesn’t do him any justice. Surely the most talented 21 year-old I’ve ever met, he has a 34-song double-disc Deastro / Our Brother The Megazord album in the works. Who is Our Brother The Megazord? It’s the same guy, Randolph Chabot. By himself. Again. This kid is not gonna stay put for long.
Awwww. Awe! Jasper is obviously struck hard by cupid's bow upon his heartstrings.
Jasper, from July 31, 2007:
The Narrator, who I’ve previously gone on and on about and whose song, “SurfJew,” is one of my favorite songs this year, is back in the area tonight playing Small’s with The Recital and Deastro. Holy Shit? Holy Shit. This show snuck up on me. I need a date.
This was still early in the relationship, before Jasper realized that "his date" was always Deastro from "hello," the moment at which Randy "had him." Ironically, Jasper looks like a male version of Renee Zellweger. This fact completely fooled the media a few years ago when they were reporting that Zellweger was dating Jack White and being spotted with him all over Detroit. Here's the truth: Renee Zellweger has never even met Jack White, nor been to Detroit. We needn't to get into the sexy details here.
Jasper, from September 5, 2007:
The other album is the 35-song, double disc Deastro / Our Brother The Megazord album. This is two separate bands that consist only of Mr. Randolph Chabot. You ever hear people use the term “insane” to describe brilliantly talented people? That’s Randy. He’s insane. He handed me a freshly-made copy during the Headband performance on Sunday. If I remember correctly, there are only 300 copies of this available at the moment so you should pick one up asap. You shouldn’t have any trouble running into him since everyone in the city has been scrambling to get him onto every bill possible.
Reports by witnesses of this handing of the CD to Jasper say that it was oddly difficult for Randy to give him the disc because Jasper couldn't manage to remove his hands from his pants.
Jasper, from September 21, 2007:
I figure by now everyone knows how brilliantly talented The Sights are, and most of you think I’m dating Deastro since I’ve been talking him up so much, so I’ll let everyone else handle the usual stuff.
The truth will out.
JRC, from October 14, 2007:
I pretended I was young again, and went over to The Belmont for Deastro’s cd release party... Early in Deastros set he announced a song that would be on his new record. Not the one everyone was there to buy, but the next one, that people will buy in January. This kid is a human jukebox. In a business sense it may be best to have less than fourteen one-man-bands, with the same one man....Once opening for VHS or Beta at the Magic Stick, and later that same night at The CAID. I did the math, and he could play two shows per day for seven months, and you wouldn’t hear the same song twice. Except for that Shaded Forest song, because it’s about a sandwich. Deastro loves sandwiches.
Notice at this point that JRC had yet to get on the Deastro train. Jasper had him all to himself. It's not for nothing that JRC's first mention of Deastro contains the idea of a sandwich.
Jasper, from October 16, 2007:
I finally got to see Deastro perform to an energized crowd and he finally got the dance party he deserved. Of course the rest of us old fucks could still be spotted in the back discussing the lack of attendance and wondering where “the scene” went. I think it’s fairly obvious where it went. Just read that first sentence again.
Besides aging hipsters, what other kinds of people hang out in the back of club, being creepy? You tell us.
JRC, from November 27, 2007:
Because I had to go set up a party at Bittersweet, I only got to stay for Deastro’s set. This kid consistently blows me away...
I’m not sure how long Deastro has been being Deastro. But I do know that he’s a savant, and I blame all of you for his ridiculous amount of local shows. We’ve got a shit ton of sub par acts who all want to play 2 shows a month, for whatever reason. Each one of you want Deastro to be on the bill to spruce it up, and i’m not sure he’s capable of saying no. This isn’t Deastro’s fault, the guy is just too nice. Word is he’s getting contacted now by some major players, a perfect time for someone to throw their hat in the ring to manage the guy. Maybe i’ll do it. Deastro. Call me.
In less than two months, JRC is following in Jasper's fairy footsteps. We needn't interpret the real meaning of this passage, do we?
JRC, from January 20, 2008:
Deastro isn’t Deastro anymore, he’s now Deastro and The Something-or-Others.. Which means he has a live drummer. He was a live drummer too, but he has replaced himself with someone else. Deastro had a certain charm when he played drums. He would make monkey faces, and sometimes shake his head so hard his glasses would go flying off. During that, he would often knock something over, or would have moved his kick drum forward 2 feet. Replacing that charm will be hard to get used to, but having Deastro actually front and center for the whole performance is great.
Oh, that Deastro is so cute!
JRC, from March 8, 2008:
Because of the short set from the Whiskey, I was able to bounce over to The Painted Lady to see the end of Deastro’s set. With the absolute coolest jacket I’ve ever seen in my life, I saw Deastro throw down three songs that caused me to find myself a part of an all out dance party with members of The Pop Project, New Grenada, Child Bite, and The Javelins. What? It should never be looked at as “Deastro being Deastro” if in fact it’s Deastro being amazing. No live drummer this time, but still deserving of every ounce of hype he’s ever been given.
The gushiness is getting embarrassing. Deastro is the Danny Zuko to JRC's Sandy Olsson.
JRC, from April 11, 2008:
Deastro is the greatest thing since sliced bread. Everyone is saying it, don’t even worry about it. If you haven’t seen it with the live drummer then there is no way I can put into words how absolutely huge it sounds. I think he has an almost infinite number of perfectly constructed electropop songs in his head, and he’s ridiculously genuine about wanting to show them to you. From the first note of the show, until the last note.. the dance floor remained in motion with crust punk kids, girls who looked like they came from Tiki Bobs, indie rock elitist snobs, and tough looking guys with beards. I can honestly say that I’ve never seen anything quite like this kid. He’s got ape like eyes, and preacher thighs, a mouth and a stereo.
No comment needed.
JRC, from April 23, 2008:
This entire post was going to only have one poem up until 30 seconds ago:
Today, I went north
..Had a smoothie with Deastro
Where is his statue?
On April 23rd
JRC got all mushy
What was in that smoothie?
Jasper, from May 17, 2008:
Deastro is a four-piece? Deastro and The Shields of Truth? I dunno. Who can ever keep track of what this kid’s doing? He had a guitar/bass/drum backing him last night for a couple songs and they played one of my absolute favorite tracks live for the first time.
I know that’s how some of you feel about Randy (Deastro) being hailed as a genius every ten seconds on the web or in the weeklies (there’s a full-page article in this week’s Metro Times, btw*). I got the “I’m speechless” shrug-and-jaw-dropped-head-shake from two different people during last night’s set, and if there was a type-able version of that maybe backlash wouldn’t be an issue. But silent awe doesn’t really translate well into blogspeak. Alright, enough.
Here, Jasper is out of words of love. But at least he didn't try to write a dumb poem.
Jasper, from May 22, 2008:
Deastro is a magikal boy with magikal songs.
Jasper is a magikal blogger.
JRC, from August 3, 2008:
Oh yeah, there was a show at The Magic Stick. Deastro has now hit for the cycle. I’ve seen him as a one piece, a two piece, a four piece, and now a three piece. This change was not permanent, but you can go ahead and add “play guitar” to the list of things Randy Chabot does better than the people in your band. The Go! Team’s drum setup was behind Deastro during the set, and it took me until the chorus of The Shaded Forest to realize that the drummer was half turned around playing The Go! Team’s cymbals. That made me laugh, a lot. Telling you that Deastro is great has almost gotten boring. From now on, when I see Deastro I will use code word “applesauce” to convey this.
At this point, we're as incapable of describing JRC's Deastro boner as he is describing the applesauce that made that boner possible. We'll use a codeword to convey this: "Moondagger."
JRC, from August 9, 2008:
Deastro played what he claimed was the last time he’d ever play as a one man band again. On top of the one man pop clinic, he doubled as “The Door Guy” for the evening which reminded me of all those Seattle and DC documentaries where people would get excited to see people in bands also doubling as the door guy. I happened to be on the guest list for the show, and when he pulled it out to scratch off my name it looked like santas list. I hung out with him for a bit at the door, and he started asking people “Do you think you’re on this list?” which made me laugh. Every. Single. Time. His set included some powered stuff, and he even got to play a real drumset thanks to Kenny Tudrick, which did make a huge difference. By the time he got to Spritle I declared to everyone within earshot that it was “my jam!” A girl in front of me turned to correct me that it was indeed, her jam. I stand corrected.
Jealousy arises here. What few know is that at the end of the night JRC beat that girl up. HE is the only one who is allowed to giggle at Randy's jokes! You got that United States! JRC will come get you if you out fan him!
Jasper, from August 15, 2008:
Deastro played some Deastro songs, and we all know Randolph Chabot writes the greatest stuff ever, but how good is his band getting? You know those three dudes were in some emo band before this, right? Maybe that’s why it works so well — they’ve brought a playing style that you’d think would clash with Randy’s electro-pop wizardry, but it just adds another dimension of Fucking Sweet to the whole package. Next time you see him, keep your eyes on the drummer. I like when he screams.
And we like when Jasper screams uncontrollably at his shows, as if Deastro is the Beatles and he is a young, innocent schoolgirl with thick-rimmed glasses and a shawl.
Jasper, from October 8, 2008:
So all you crybabys who think my extensive Deastro coverage somehow translates into people going to shows, you are mistaken. And here’s a little piece of advice — save your snarky Deastro comments and backlash for a few more weeks. There’s gonna be a major announcement in November along with, uh…some other things and some other other things that I’m not allowed to talk about (even though it’s a poorly kept secret). That should be the perfect time to express your disgust with someone else’s success. That is, after all, what blogs were created for.
A cloaked hint for what would become the first release from Jasper and JRC's record label, Deastro's Spritle single, allowing Jasper and JRC to do what they've always wanted to do but have been prevented from doing due to mother nature's laws and inadequate medical and scientific advances: have Randy's baby.
Jasper, from February 11, 2009, announced Deastro will be the first release on Five Three Dial Tone records.
April 4, 2009: "Spritle" CD Release show.
Rumor has it that JRC/Jasper came up with the title, Spritle. Spritle is a slang term for what they produce every time the thought of Deastro comes to them.
Jasper, from April 5, 2009, following the CD Release Party for Spritle:
Obvious thanks goes to Randy and the Deastros, who could have told us to fuck off once Ghostly International showed up with their millions of dollars. Lucky for us, they didn’t. Maybe we mention him a little too often on this site, but it’s because we never stop being surprised at how so positive and selfless someone can be, in a music scene known mostly for being delusional, greedy and self-entitled.
Obviously, Randy is a swell guy, and appreciates everything Jasper and JRC have done for him. But now he's got to go away. We hope that our favorite bloggers can deal with the separation pangs.
JRC, from May 18, 2009:
It's our hope that Deastro let JRC down lightly, and that there was little crying. It's cute that they went on this last date before Randy leaves his Detroit blogger girlfriends for hotter chicks to faun all over him. We hope they had a good hug or handshake at the end of the game.Saturday I went to the Tiger game with Deastro and The Internet.
In all seriousness, Jasper and JRC did exactly what bloggers should do: promote their favorite local band, produce buzz, get people to shows, and help boost home-grown talent so that they can pursue actual music careers and reach wider audiences. Good job guys. Keep it up, even though most of the time your verbal hard-ons kind of gross us all out.
